Light at the End of the Tunnel

Friends, family, random folks who read my blog around the world — I have good news to share today!

There truly is light at the end of the tunnel, job seekers. I can now say that in a few short weeks I will join the ranks of the employed again. I’m soon to be back in Public Relations!!! And, on a recent trip to Texas, I discovered that there is NOT A RECESSION IN DALLAS OR SAN ANTONIO! I joke, as I did have a friend who thought his job might be dissolved, but for the most part, they are doing very well and Texas is awesome… so boost your search there!

But in all seriousness, I’ve been able to get through this tough period of lots of ups and downs with the support of my real friends and family, but am glad to report the final up means that I’ve found work in my field of communications and public relations for a non-profit — and I don’t even have to move. I get to stay right here in Cleveland, where I was born and raised, and only recently moved back to after 17 years of living around the world!

In Texas with friends who don't "recess"

Being laid off is such a strange experience, one that I think so many people feel but couldn’t really explain until perhaps a positive end (employment) is near. I even ran into people from my old job recently who within a day of me telling a few people there that I got a new job,  all knew it. But this fact alone, or running into them wasn’t weird — it’s that they acted like I had some sort of disease — like if they talked to me maybe they would be a victim of layoffs too. And there was no reason to be uncomfortable since they knew I found something else. Also entirely weird, because I did nothing wrong, I was simply a victim of a bad economy, and working at a public relations agency where clients all cut their budgets which translated to us not having enough work to go around. I know everyone felt bad layoffs had to happen (in my case it was a  small company of 60 people and it was the first time it had happened – ever- in their long history) but they aren’t contagious! I have no idea why I was treated in certain ways during this time of not having a job, but I know that everyone needs support and a kind hello (email, phone call, card in the mail) and to feel like people care and you are part of a normal world, with or without a job. Being treated differently just makes you feel bad and makes it worse. If you ever run into a situation where you can’t figure out the right thing to say or to do because a friend or family member is dealing with a layoff, be kind. Pure and simple. Ask if there is anything you can do to help (if you want) but most of all just keep them in the loop. When people start to ignore you, or treat you differently, or act funny because they don’t know how to act, this is when you feel the worst. And if you have a specific question or concern, send me a note and I’ll do what I can to help you figure it all out!

So as I’ve been going through the pre-employment screening for my new gig (which included a drug screen, physical exam and a four part TB test) I’ve been counting my blessings. I’m ready for the new challenges the job will bring, the great new people I’ll work with and meet along the way and hopefully, because this job is a non-profit in the nursing and health care industry, I will be able to make a difference, much more than I ever could in a corporate or agency job.  It is a big hope. Income, of course, will also be appreciated!

Good friends, good times! Glad to stay in Cleveland!

Memorial Day Memories

My Grandpa fought in the second World War. In fact, when he was called to service, he was required to leave my Grandma at home pregnant with their first child, my Mom. He didn’t see Grandma again, or meet Mom for the very first time, until she was nearly two years old. My favorite picture hanging in my parents’ house documents that special day when Mom met her Dad coming back from the war — Mom with her curls and nice dress, Grandma in her beautiful gloves and hat and Grandpa smiling ear to ear in his army uniform.

This Memorial Day I not only miss my Grandpa and honor his service to his country — and his love for our family  — but I also for the first time I am remembering my Mom. This is my first holiday weekend without her,  not being able to discuss the craziness of Blossom Fest in Chagrin Falls, not reminicing about Grandpa and her love for him as his first of seven children, my love for him as the first of 10 grandchildren, not spending time relaxing together on a beautiful sunny day.

As I’ve written about before here — living through a layoff is tough. But nothing, absolutely nothing, is harder to accept than the idea that I will never speak to my Mom again.

Thank you Grandpa and Uncle Tom, for serving our country, and for your love and devotion to our family. And as always, love and miss you Mom! Here’s hoping I keep my head up about this situation without work… because you and Grandpa and Tom are watching out for me from above.

Five of Grandpa's kids (Mom is far left)

Ups and Downs — Mixed with Smooth Sailing

Denial isn’t good. I know that. But facing the fact that I’m approaching four months without a paycheck is no longer something I can deny.

As the eternal optimist, I’ve really been trying to enjoy this time off, like an unexpected vacation. Granted, an unfunded vacation, but since I knew a job wouldn’t appear instantaneously, I thought I would do what I could to make the best of the situation.  For the most part, I’ve traveled all over, caught up with friends and family in person and via phone and the Internet, finally moved into my house and worked on major organizing and creative projects I’ve put off over the years, but times are changing.

Maybe as the cool days are getting a bit warmer, there are leaves on the trees surrounding my house and my neighbors are starting the backyard barbeque circuit, my healthy dose of denial is no longer the cure the doctor ordered. So how do I cope? With the help of friends and family – and my ever by my side companion: Riley.

Mr. Riley

Okay, so that was just a ploy to post a picture of Riley. He’s 12 and he just keeps on moving even with some arthritis and some ‘old man qualities’ – so I had to show him off to the world. He really is a true companion, even in all the craziness that is my life! On a recent trip to Texas to see old friends and co-workers (and celebrate one of my favorite boss’ retirement) I also found solace in friends and food…. My other support systems.

 Back to my story: The reason why I can no longer be in denial. The marketing, communications and public relations job market is not pretty. I tried to make light of it, but after the last nearly four months, every position I’ve applied for also gets hundreds of other applications. I always believed in years past that people who weren’t really qualified would try to apply for things, but that there were never really that many truly qualified candidates. Now, it seems that if you a job that requests an M.B.A. (which I have) and 10 years of experience (I have nearly 15), people with 20 years of experience and Ph.Ds are applying and that is not helping my cause!

So denial is out, acceptance is in. Today I talked to a recruiter who wanted me to talk with several other specialized recruiters. Will do. I’m trying to keep more ups then downs in my life and keep smooth sailing going – or kayaking, if the chance presents itself.

So I might have gone kayaking in PA

Pessimism reared its ugly head again, but optimism prevails. I hope!

Does anyone have ideas of how to make this process smoother – or do you know any jobs available for me? I’d love to hear from others dealing with layoffs….

Perspective – What really constitutes a Big Deal?

After a month back home in Cleveland, Dad and I embarked on a trip to Florida. This is my first time traveling since I returned from my six weeks away in Panama. While being a grown up on a trip with my Dad to places I went as a child has it advantages, it also has its long lists of disadvantages, mostly the fact that my Dad have entirely different interests and ideas of what a vacation is – not to mention the fact that Dad is a morning person and I am most certainly a night owl.  However, in the grand scheme of things I’ve gained a special perspective that makes me able to focus on the beauty of the visit instead of its difficulty.

Family in Sanibel Island

After I watched my Mom suffer from cancer for 20 months and finally lost her in August of last year, the arguments and bad feelings put in perspective mean very little. Additionally, the reason for this blog, losing my job, means nothing in the whole scheme of things. Jobs are replaceable and feelings get hurt and mended. Replacing your Mom is not possible.

I’d happily return this ‘gift’ of perspective if it would bring my Mom back. But if you don’t learn something positive from a terrible lesson, what was the use of learning it? I’m thankful for understanding the true meaning of ‘the important things in life’ and now can focus on the things that are NOT worrisome.

I feel like the reason I’ve learned so much is because I’ve been away from a job. So this layoff is a blessing, not a curse. That, and vacation all the time is way more fun that a Monday through Friday gig, even while currently not making any money to support the vacationing habit!

A Healthy Addiction: The Cleveland Film Festival!

I have resurfaced for air after 9 days of incredible film-going, courtesy of the Cleveland International Film Festival (CIFF) in downtown Cleveland (www.clevelandfilm.org). I will tell you what to see when they come out on DVD for sure – amazing stuff!

The 33rd Annual Event was 11 days long, but I did not attend two days, but in what I did attend was exciting and entertaining, but also very much draining and humbling.

While I believe the old saying honest is the best policy, I also don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, so I was conflicted with my response to people asking me if I took time off work to see so many movies. While I again looked at this ‘time away’ as part of an opportunity for me to enjoy my life and to look for a job where I’d love to spend so much time, I know that others immediately hear the word layoff and start to feel and act strangely. I saw many examples of this, overtly and hidden, that because I was part of a layoff I should be staying at home feeling sorry for myself and looking for a job 24/7. There is nothing that could bring me down in the dumps than continuously dealing with unemployment claims and job searching. With that in mind, I take a break from it when at all possible!

Before the film festival, in addition to all the fun that is the job searching and unemployment filing, I have been spending lots of time with friends and family and wanted to share these pictures of two fun evenings out in March. Here are two pictures from two good nights out in the Cleve. I so love my friends and family!

St. Patty's Day 2009Little Karaoke with the girls

Karaoke Night with Hotsie Kotzie!

Where do the days go?

In the 12 days I’ve been back from Panama, I’ve been a bundle of feelings; like riding a whole new type of an emotional and physical rollercoaster.

Some days I’m happy to be back, visiting with friends, spending time with Dad and finding ways to volunteer and help in the community during the days since I don’t have to go to a ‘day job’ anymore. Other days, I’m sad to have left Panama and my paradise.

Most of the time, I try to continue the process of answering these questions: What do I want to do with my life? What is my ideal job? What would I enjoy getting up early for and working on day in and day out? How do I summarize nearly 15 years of work experience into three sentences at the top of my resume?

American Cancer Society work...

In the meantime, I’m trying to get back into volunteering. First, I’m going to Columbus next week to work on Legislative Ambassador duties that stemmed from my association with Relay For Life and the American Cancer Society.

 While I loved my experiences with the Troy Relay and all of my work in Michigan with the American Cancer Society, the Hillcrest Relay wasn’t a great experience for me last year. But, I didn’t let that stop me. I’ve been volunteering for the American Cancer Society since I was seven years old and swimming laps for quarters and I believe they put their money in the right place for cancer research and services for cancer patients and their families. With that in mind,  I accepted an invitation from the Cleveland office to hear about the Ohio Advocacy programs.

At that meeting back in December I heard about  our awesome no smoking laws having the possibilities of being up for repeal, which I would not appreciate at all. I’m not sure where everything stands now with that, but I know before I make the trip next week I’ll know. So what will be doing? I believe petitioning our local and state lawmakers to continue funding for preventative colon cancer screenings.

Hopefully my dedication to the cause and my personal story will help make an impact.  At least it is something I can do (from little miss silver-lining) for which I don’t have to take a vacation day. See, I can find the positive in everything.

 So, as the original question of this post go? It is almost midnight of day 12 back in Ohio. I’m not sure what happens to each and every day, but I’m trying to make the best out of this opportunity to find a new, great job I’ll really enjoy.

Live lava flowing on top of a Volcano in Guatemala!

I post this above picture from my trip to Guatemala. It was a two hour ridiculously difficult hike up this volcano to see this incredible sight – live flowing lava which was truly a wonder. My hundreds of pictures taken in Guatemala and in Panama from January and February seem to distract me from the current cold and rainy weather in Cleveland – and the job search.

But now, I must return to the resumes, cover letters and answering life’s biggest questions.  That and trying to figure out which movies I want to see at the Cleveland International Film Festival (CIFF) starting March 19 and ending March 29th, all at Tower City. Another benefit to umemployment – I could take a whole day and watch independent movies! Just call me Ms. Mary Silver Lining!

More to Come … Back Home and Trying to Remain Optimistic!

So it turned out that managing a restaurant and helping to manage a 24/7 resort doesn’t leave much time to write blog entries or really think about what you want to do with your life.

But when I was thrown the curve ball of a layoff on January 15, 2009, I took matters into my own hands. Instead of sulking around in the house (in seven layers of sweaters and not wanting to get into the cold) and focusing on the fact that I was jobless for the first time in my life, I took a step many wouldn’t have even thought of.

I opened my eyes, ears, my mind and my heart, and took a leap of faith, starting with a visit to my brother and sister-in-law in Panama City, Panama.

Brother Kris, sis in law Magaly and Me!

As our trip progressed, we visited cousin Gina and her husband Chris at Rancho de Caldera, in the province of Chiriqui in Western Panama.

Gina and Chris had the courage and the vision to build a beautiful resort from nothing and they now have something incredible that attracts visitors from all over the world. (www.ranchodecaldera.com)

It turned out that they were just about to open a restaurant on the property and the timing of my visit, couldn’t have been better to help them out. So that is exactly what I did.

For one month I was incredibly busy, but incredibly happy to be helping family, making friends and enjoying the happiness that comes from a daily infusion of Vitamin D, courtesy of the sun!

So many stories to tell – and I want to share them via this blog, hopefully giving someone hope that they can take a different road while experiencing a layoff, and know that it is okay, and it may actually give you some hope and joy in the process.

Double Rainbow in my Panamanian Paradise!

More to come…… Stories from my month in Panama and me sharing my life in the hope of helping others. Humor cures all things upsetting… that and friends and family!

Another day, another adventure in Panama

We had a big party of 20 people to work on Tuesday – but I had some big news I was excited about too for
Wednesday…. I was going to have my first full day off. New friends Christine and Lela, who came from the states to visit Gina, were going to be my travel buddies as we headed to Boquette to a company called Aventurist for a little adventure called Tree Trek.

Mary gets ready to Zip!Lela's all set to go....

And finally, we are all strapped in and prepared to go on an adventure that involves a training session on how to work the zipline (which apparently frightens everyone including me, even though I just did this in Guatemala at a much less professional site, which means this should be safer), a truck ride up a pretty dangerous road and then a walk as we head out ready to go…. Here is the view as we had a five minute walk until our first cable to zip across…..

Stunning view back towards Boquette of the group

So, we headed off to what would be the first line to cross. The entire time we were accompanied by a photographer. Some of these pictures I have from my camera, but most of the really cool ones came from the CDs we bought from him. My facebook page has a ton of other pictures, so you can check that out too!

The first few cables were pretty simple, pretty much warm ups for the really good ones that came afterwards. Lela is the queen of making great faces, while most of mine were either simple smiles when I was on solid ground, or ‘don’t bother me, I’m thinking’ via A Christmas Story, as I concentrated on getting from platform to platform. In this case, the images can tell the story quite clearly!

Finishing a little zipping and happily on solid groundLela hamming it up (she says she was surprised by the photog -likely story!So, as the group, we made it through to the end of the Christine is successful!

adventure… Some of us doing all 14 lines and some of us taking a beautiful nature trail, as this is very difficult physical work – and as long as we all made it to the end, that is what matters!

We all received diplomas for our graduation from the The Little Canopy school of Tree Trek in Boquette. It was an early start (which usually means I’m a bit grumpy to start out with) but it was a blast and I would recommend it to everyone. Please comment or contact me if you like!

I don't remember being this close to rocks - Me flying on a cable!Awesome shot of Lela on the last and longest cable - Weeeee!

I have no idea what is happening here – I posted three additional pictures (the captions are mixed up with mine) – I will try to fix it later today… Gotta get to the restaurant to work!

Details: $60/person, about 4 hours of time, only about an hour on the lines (if that), the rest is getting registered, getting them,  etc. If you go in the morning, where warm clothes!!!

Paddling through the layoffs

The word came back last night: The three of you are going river rafting in the rapids of Panama.

Where would that be and when, my cousin’s friends and I respond?

To the River Chiriqui Viejo of Panama, on the Costa Rican border. Oh, and you need to meet him at 7:15, so make sure to be on the road by 6:50.

There was an audible intake of breath as we all said: We have to leave before 7am?? Yes, three non-early rising gringos were a bit shocked, and certainly not nearly prepared enough for the adventure, but did make it on the trip. As a side note, cousin Gina good a good laugh out of that, as she hasn’t slept until 7am in years!!!

So, the adventure began with a nearly two-hour drive towards Costa Rica. We were told to bring our passports as there are two checkpoints that involve crossing into and back out of Costa Rica on the border. As it turns out, both ways they weren’t needed, but there have been times in the past that people without their passports have been told to get out of the car and wait for someone to pick them up from back in David or Boquette, the nearby towns (we left from right outside Caldera, so that was nice!) No one was left behind here. The drive was only the beginning of the adventure.

Stay tuned for more tomorrow…. I have to go open the restaurant in paradise in nine minutes: www.ranchodecaldera.com.

River Rafting website for more information if you just can’t wait (before I tell you the ‘rest of the story’ as they say on NPR) is www.panama-rafting.com.

The dedication of Rancho de Caldera – An energy power center!

As of December and during the holiday season, I was preparing extensively for a trip to Guatemala, in what was supposed to be a time of relaxation and healing. What I received instead was something altogether different.

On the other hand, on this morning I had no expectations, except that I would meet some new people who were coming to the property here:  www.ranchodecaldera.com.

What I experienced is more than I ever could have imagined and more than I even expected possible in our entire planned out trip in Guatemala. Panama in general has been a much more exciting country from me, from our very first visit here to meet my future sister-in-law and see my brother while located here as part the State Department, to this third visit, which came as happenstance for me, as I lost my job unexpectedly.

Heather, a stunningly beautiful and incredibly powerful energy worker in the country, came to dedicate the land. Gina and Chris (my cousins and the owner of this amazing place) asked me to join them and Heather as we asked the spirits of the past, present and future to continue to bless this land, the buildings, the animals and the of course the people here today and those who will come in the future.

I will write more later about the beauty of the event itself, but had to share the beauty that eminated from my soul as a result of being a participant. A gentleman who met me tonight said I had a joyous soul. People have offered me compliments about lighting up a room that I’d appreciate but never think were more than words.

In all I was looking for in one country, I found here in Caldera, Panama, along with a gained love and respect for my cousins and those who have the ability to help us open our hearts and minds to what we might miss, if we didn’t take the time to listen.